Seriously can't even describe the past two days. I have been on an emotional rollercoaster, and i've binged both days. Lets just say I hate myself right now.
Yesterday, I was doing great until lunch. I don't know why lunch has triggered me today and yesterday, but it must stop. I ate a turkey sandwich, a rice krispy bar, and two spoonfuls of ice cream. UGH! Then today I had a pop-tart (those are the absolute worst things for you. Practically 500 calories in two little bland pastries!), a muffin, and chex mix. WHY MUST I ALWAYS RUIN A GOOD THING?!
I honestly do not understand why I sabotage myself. In my brain I think about how I don't need the food and how I know it won't even taste that great after the first two bites, and yet I still feel the need to stuff myself full of empty calories. Then worst of all, I feel sick from eating so much and then make myself throw up. I hate purging.
To top it all off, I have been on the brink of tears for the past 24 hours for no apparent reason! Don't get me wrong.. I have reasons. But I usually do not cry easily over things, especially things that I know I am blowing out of proportion.
To sum it all up... I am weak.
The plan for the rest of the day is zero calories. Only water for me. And tomorrow, only water and tea all day. Friday will be difficult because my family is going to a show downtown, which usually means dinner beforehand. Maybe I can make up an excuse to meet them after dinner. Hmmm...
Wish me luck on the rest of my day!
Love and Strength,
xoxo
good luck!
ReplyDeleteim sorry youre having a rough time hun, but i know you can get through it.
remember to dust yourself off and go back at it just as hard as before and youll be able to make it up =]
i know you can do it!
XOXO Sophia Ruins <3
You're not weak. You're strong. And you are GOING to do this. Think thin. I believe in you.
ReplyDeleteOh and nooo I don't live in Iowa? Uni in England.
Loving you hun. Xxx