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So I've really been struggling the past few weeks.  There has been drama with my boyfriend, drama with my friends, and drama with my eating.  I just seem to have zero will power (what else is new) and I really need to get my shit together.

Last night my boyfriend and I broke up, which hasn't been very hard at all yet.  I had been planning on ending it for weeks, and when it finally happened it was almost a relief!  We had been dating for almost two years, so obviously I love him, but I know it is not what i want right now.  Hopefully everything will work out for the best!

Plan for this week:

- Workout every day for at least 45 minutes

- Eat less than 800 calories

- Blog at least twice

Sorry for the short post and my lack of comments on all your blogs, but it's been a really tough few weeks for me and I hope you all can forgive me!

XOXO

Lexi

BIKINI TIME

Lets start with intake..  So far today I've had half of one 12oz. iced coffee (60 cals for whole 12oz.) and two roma tomatoes with lemon pepper (35 cals each).  So my total intake is 135 so far, with a little wiggle room since I only drake half of the coffee.  I'm hoping that I can stick it out and not eat anything else the rest of the day, and also squeeze in a workout on the elliptical sometime!

Tomorrow I leave for my friends lake house with a group of my closest guy and girl friends.  This means lots of boating, food, and *gasp* bikinis!  I'm incredibly nervous to be in a bikini in front of all my skinny friends and our cute guy friends.  I'm also nervous for the amount of food that I will be presented with and whether I will be able to keep from bingeing.  Hopefully with the thought of being in a bikini will keep me from over eating.  It would really help me to have an Ana texting buddy!  If anyone is interested, email me at thinstrongana@gmail.com and we can keep each other away from food and maintain control!

Today has been super productive!  I've gotten so many things done today that I am feeling very accomplished.  I think it all goes back to that control issue.  My association between being productive and control relates to my connection between food and control.  That is why I've been able to stay out of the kitchen, even though I've been home all day! :)

Wish me luck on my trip!  Hope I can manage to keep food away from me so I can look thin and beautiful!!

Be sure to comment!  I love hearing from all of you!

Think thin lovelies!

xoxo Lexi

SORRY!

Girls, I cannot tell you how sorry I am that I have not blogged in so long!  I have been insanely busy with graduation and end-of-school-year stuff!  Finally things are winding down and I can begin to focus on Ana and staying on track with weight loss and control.

Now that school is over, I am going to wake up early and work out daily.  Also, I have become a pro at making iced coffee, and I have to say that it has become my new addiction!  Even if I indulge in my favorite iced latte with sugar free syrup, it only has 60 cals!  It is incredible how that little drink can fill me up completely, and give me enough of a caffeine kick to keep me motivated to stay on track all day!  I am in love with a drink!!!! :)

Since work has started for the summer, I will have more money!  This is definitely very important in the part of my summer goal that involves changing my clothing style.  I've already begun to invest in some new clothing articles that incorporate the new style I am working towards!  Also, I have found that accessories are truly what makes an outfit great.  Earrings, bangles, necklaces, etc. have become another new obsession!

I have a lot of work to do before I will be close to my goal weight, but with vigilance and the support of you all I know I can do it!  I know WE can do it!!

Leave comments!!

Keep on starving girlies!

xoxo Lexi

Terrible

This will probably be short, because I am updating from the library and I will need to get back to class soon!  Lately I have just truly been awful.  I have been on a constant binge all week, and it needs to stop NOW.  I have just been so stressed out and I feel like I have lost control of literally everything in my life.  My boyfriend and I are on the brink of breaking up, I'm struggling to keep my grades up, and I am having troubles with my job and my schedule.  I seriously do not know what to do, and I really wish that I could regain control at least of my eating!

This weekend will be extremely crazy, but I really need to stay strong and be in control.  That really is all I need (and a lower number on the scale).  I guess I will have to be truly dedicated and motivated to maintain control, but hopefully I can do it!

I really enjoy reading everyone's blogs!  It really gives me motivation and hope that I can regain control of my life and my eating.  Please say an Ana prayer for me as I try to stop this binge habit immediately!!!

Hopefully tonight I can fit in a workout and also control my eating!!

Love to you all girlies!

xoxoxo Lexi

Summer Challenge 2009

Thanks to PrettyWreck for the Summer Challenge 2009!  Check it out and join in the fun! :]

Age: 18

Current Weight:  143 lbs

Goal Weight Loss:  109 by August 9th (34 lbs!)

Personal Goal:  To go to college as a new woman!  This includes eating habits, body appearance, wardrobe, figuring out who my true friends are, interaction with boys, and attitude!!

Biggest Challenges:  Not having binge days or periods.  Regaining control after a minor cheat.  Working out everyday, and maintaining constant control of what I put into my body. 

Question For Week #1:

HOLY SHIT! YOU CAUGHT A LEPRECHAUN!Instead of gold, he gives you a choice. You can either:
A) Be forever the weight of your dreams, and never have to worry about gaining a pound or
B) Be the richest person in the world, and your money will never run out
What do you choose?

Honestly? Probably A.  I can always work for money and I really am comfortable with my life the way it is!  Being my dream weight would allow me to be more confident and focused on making money and pursuing the career of my dreams to match my body! :)

short

This will be a super short post..

Okay so I have been awful lately.  But today after a long talk with my boyfriend, he has decided to support me in my quest for a better body (although he doesnt know about ana).  I have been looking into doing a Blueprint Cleanse (www.blueprintcleanse.com).  I have heard that it gives you incredible results and that your body craves the gym and only healthy foods afterwards.  My plan is to loose weight by eating extremely healthy and working out daily, and then the last week of May do the Blueprint Cleanse right before my summer trip with my friends.  Hopefully I can be strong for the time leading up to the cleanse!

More tomorrow probably!

Love you!

xoxox

:: Ten Day Fast ::

Today was terrible.  I was weak and gave into peer pressure.  If only I had made up an excuse or a valid reason why I couldn't eat.  Instead I have another wasted day without any progress.

Tomorrow starts a 10 day fast until prom.  This one MUST be successful.  I need to look HOT and thin in my prom dress.  I will be working out rigorously every day, and eating no solid food besides the occasional 1/4 of an apple or such.  Hopefully by the middle of next week I will be able to do a saltwater flush!  Anyone else want to join?  I would love to have others with me so I stay on top of it!  If more people want to do it, we can set out some guidelines that are more strict.

Since today was terrible, I feel as though I am not as strong as I thought.  The problem really begins when that first morsel of food enters my mouth.  As long as I don't even allow myself to start eating, I can prevent a binge.

Easier said than done.

Well, I'm off to bed!

Sweet dreams girlies!

xoxo

Lexi